2011年10月14日星期五

Man Finds Heaven in the Form of a Unattended Beer Truck




Brewing equipment
Sometimes heaven is nothing more than an a truck full of cold unsupervised kegs in Buffalo Grove, IL.Unless you’re a recovering alcoholic or someone who stresses over their calorie intake, there are few better two-word combinations in the English language more glorious than “free beer.” It’s a phrase that generates unbridled enthusiasm and child-like excitement. Everyone shows up when “freebeer” is part of the equation. It’s euphoric in the vein of a party scene from an John Hughes 80s movie. When it comes to “free beer” the possibilities for life-long memories, bad dancing and hilarious shenanigans are endless.

Unfortunately, in today’s society “free beer” always comes with a catch, whether it be hanging out with people you can’t stand or the fact that the beer is in an extremely limited supply. There’s nothing more disappointing than being excited for “free beer” and receiving one PBR and paying $6 for your subsequent Bud Light. Finding “free beer” in the truest sense of the word is one of the most elusive and beautiful experiences man has ever known — it’s transcendent.

A 47-year-old manfound heavenin Buffalo Grove, IL.The man apparently stumbled across a refrigerated beer trailer Tuesday used by the Schwaben Verein German heritage club and Grove Banquets in Buffalo Grove.The trailer houses kegs connected to taps on the outside. Realizing he had nearly unlimited access cold beer, the man grabbed a nearby pitcher and began drinking.At noon, staff at the banquet hall found him and called police. When police showed up, they found the man extremely intoxicated and called an ambulance, Buffalo Grove Deputy Chief Steve Husak said.

Before being sent to Northwest Community Hospital, he told police he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. He thought he had died and gone to heaven – a free beer truck, Husak said.The man was not charged with public intoxication, nor did the Schwaben club press charges for theft.It’s rather easy to see why our lucky John Doe confused this situation with heaven — he found god in the form of the choicest hops, rice and best barley malt. I imagine Doug (our unidentified hero deserves a name) kicking aCampbell‘s Soup can down a desolate Buffalo Grove street when he looks down an ally and encounters “free beer.” Suddenly, Journey’s “Open Arms” starts playing from the heavens as Doug moves in slow motion towards the keg-filled truck. Miraculously no one seems to be around and look! There’s a empty pitcher!

Hours later, members of the German heritage club probably found Doug with a his god-given
pitcher and a big smile, looking around forSteve Jobs. They called an ambulance due to his outrageous inebriation and didn’t press charges. But Doug touched god that day my friends — he gave him a big hug and fucking high five. Beer Brewing